Episode 26
Hope Beyond the Disappointment

Jill LeBlanc:
00:05

Hey, y’all. Thanks so much for joining us again today. I wanted to jump right in and just share a little story we received in an email from someone that’s been listening and shared just what God’s doing for them through this. She said, last year, I needed to give birth to our son who had already died in my womb. And I know last time we mentioned a friend of ours that just walked through this and I can’t even imagine that.

Charlie LeBlanc:
00:35

Yeah. This is another one.

Jill LeBlanc:
00:36

Yeah. Yeah. A different one. Then she went on to say, I can’t get over the pain, but the truth you’re talking about makes me feel more hopeful.

Charlie LeBlanc:
00:48

Praise the Lord.

Jill LeBlanc:
00:49

Thank you. The name of this podcast is Finding Hope, Getting Through What You Never Asked For. And this touched our hearts so deeply because it shows us that people are beginning to find hope again when they’re walking through loss and through difficulties. So we thought you would like to hear that as well. And we hope that you are finding hope again in your journey. That’s the desire of our hearts for doing all this.

Charlie LeBlanc:
01:18

Yes, and we’re getting a lot of testimonies like that from the podcast. People are leaving comments, and we encourage you to leave a comment if anything we say helps you in any way, and please forward it to others that you know that maybe have just had a loss and they need help as well. So we’re hoping we can just really continue to reach out and touch so many new people. You know, Jill, I was listening to Bill Johnson today. He’s a pastor out in California of a very, very large ministry.

Charlie LeBlanc:
01:51

And their ministry has a lot of miracles and a lot of healings in it. And he recently lost his wife to cancer, which was just the craziest thing because they’re seeing people healed of miracle, I mean healed of cancer, miracles happening all the time, and yet he lost his wife. So he’s written a book about it, which I appreciate it. And I stumbled across two interviews this morning that he was doing two different interviewers. But one of the things he said is something that we say a lot.

Charlie LeBlanc:
02:29

And they said, Bill, why are you being so open about this and transparent? You brought your whole church into your brokenness and into your pain. And he said, what we say so often is that he said, You know, the church is just not prepared for these kinds of losses. You know, we’re believing God for miracles, we’re believing God for healings, and thank God for the ones that do. Will never stop praying for people to be healed.

Jill LeBlanc:
02:59

Right.

Charlie LeBlanc:
02:59

But for the ones who don’t get their miracles, for the families of those who don’t get their miracles, it’s a really, really tough road. And he said the church has just not been prepared for it. And that’s what we have felt too, that we weren’t prepared for it.

Jill LeBlanc:
03:16

No.

Charlie LeBlanc:
03:17

And so, the church in general is not prepared for it. And I think this is a mandate from God for us, of course, to speak into this, but I didn’t realize so many others are speaking into it too. I remember that other pastor in California who lost his son about ten years ago, and he spoke a powerful, powerful message. I don’t know if he has a book out or not, but he lost his son to suicide.

Jill LeBlanc:
03:43

Yeah.

Charlie LeBlanc:
03:44

I did, what did we hear about September or not? It was a suicide awareness month.

Jill LeBlanc:
03:51

That’s right.

Charlie LeBlanc:
03:51

It is to be aware, and there are things that you can do to try to intercede if you see someone that looks suicidal. So anyway, but the point, I don’t wanna get off subject, but the church needs to be more educated in this arena at what it’s like to sorrow, what it’s like to go through pain, so that we can be better comforters. We’ve talked about that so

Jill LeBlanc:
04:16

That’s right.

Charlie LeBlanc:
04:17

So that we can help those who are broken.

Jill LeBlanc:
04:20

Yeah, it’s so huge.

Charlie LeBlanc:
04:21

Yeah, because we’re just not prepared for that. We’re ready to rejoice with those who rejoice, and we talk about that so much on this program. But when someone loses the battle here on earth, this side of heaven, we sit there and go, uh-oh, oh, what, oh, what, what? And we talk about it so much and we say the wrong things.

Jill LeBlanc:
04:40

Right. You know, interestingly, just this morning, I was looking through emails of condolences to us that started coming in the day that our son passed away. And, know, were were most of them were very beautiful and very sweet and loving, so loving. Yeah. But there were a few that that said, thank God he’s not suffering anymore, you know, and that he’s rejoicing in heaven.

Charlie LeBlanc:
05:12

Right.

Jill LeBlanc:
05:13

But then they would also preface it with, you know, I, we can’t, we’re so sorry for the pain of your loss. And then they would afterwards say, you know, we’re praying for you, blah blah, you know, it’s so sweet. But but there were those few that, you know, and thank thankfully, there were only a few

Charlie LeBlanc:
05:33

Mhmm.

Jill LeBlanc:
05:33

That, you know, talked about the fact that that he’s in heaven now, and, you know, truth be told, that is the truth.

Charlie LeBlanc:
05:41

-Of course.

Jill LeBlanc:
05:42

-You know, and and he was suffering so much, struggling to just hold on to every breath because he could hardly breathe. And so when he woke up in heaven, oh my gosh, it’s just

Charlie LeBlanc:
05:58

He was, yeah, in essence, he had no doubt about it.

Jill LeBlanc:
06:01

Yeah. And so that is the truth. And we rejoice for that, that he never has to suffer again.

Charlie LeBlanc:
06:09

Absolutely.

Jill LeBlanc:
06:10

But it’s just, it just really sucks to have to live without him here.

Charlie LeBlanc:
06:15

Those are weak, comforting words when someone has just lost a child, or a mother or father, that they’re very, very close to

Jill LeBlanc:
06:22

Or spouse.

Charlie LeBlanc:
06:23

Or best friend.

Jill LeBlanc:
06:25

Spouse.

Charlie LeBlanc:
06:25

Whatever. Yes, spouses. Those are weak words.

Jill LeBlanc:
06:31

Yeah.

Charlie LeBlanc:
06:31

Because if they’re Christians, they know where their loved one is, but that doesn’t help the pain right now.

Jill LeBlanc:
06:37

No, right.

Charlie LeBlanc:
06:38

And so, we’ve talked so much about this, and we’ll continue to talk about it, because it needs to be proclaimed from the rooftops.

Jill LeBlanc:
06:44

Yeah.

Charlie LeBlanc:
06:45

As they say in Proverbs 31, it says, Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves. And that’s why when we were in England, even recently, or wherever we go, and we speak on this area, people come out of the woodworks. I remember, what was it, fifteen years ago that we spoke at Charis Bible College in Colorado, and when we were done speaking on it, everyone stood up and applauded, because no one talks about the pain of death on this side.

Charlie LeBlanc:
07:16

We know that death has no sting for the one who’s gone into heaven, praise the Lord. And the we know that ultimately, all of us, you know, will see the glory of God, and our destiny and our desire is to see Jesus. But that’s two different things. The thing we’re talking about is for those who have lost their loved one, pain and the grief and the mourning that comes with it. It just comes. And a lot of it, of course, is based on your relationship with your loved one, and how long they’ve been sick, and how old they were.

Charlie LeBlanc:
07:56

All these different factors are very interesting and very important. And I know for me, I lost my dad just three months after I lost Beau. And I I’ve, I know I’ve shared this before, but it didn’t affect me like it did my siblings. As much as I love my dad, but he was 87 years old, he had had a good life, and he was a man of God. But the pain of losing your son, there was nothing to compare.

Jill LeBlanc:
08:30

Right. When we were doing those classes, last time we were in England, those afternoon breakout sessions, I remember a couple there that had lost her mother, and they were younger. They were probably in their 40s and maybe 30s. So, you know, the mother was probably in her 50s or 60s, and it was the wife that it was the wife’s mother. And I just remember on the first day just how teary her she in particular was, and he was also.

Jill LeBlanc:
09:12

But she was just spent most of our class crying

Charlie LeBlanc:
09:19

-I as can remember that.

Jill LeBlanc:
09:20

-Yeah, as we shared. And then the next day, they came back and we shared more things and she wasn’t as teary. And then by the last day, we shared a few more things and went to Q&A and she even asked a question. And and she I and and we recently received an email from them thanking us for that and and how much it it blessed them to be. And sometimes it’s just getting to talk about it. You know, it’s you know how when you have a wound and you have it under a bandage and maybe it’s not properly cleaned or maybe it’s never exposed to the air or the sunlight. And those things can begin to fester and smell and get infected just from not being exposed.

Charlie LeBlanc:
10:14

-Yeah.

Jill LeBlanc:
10:15

And it’s kind of the same way with grief. If we never get to talk about it, never get to cry openly, never get to just let it all out, those things can fester and make us so unhealthy. And I just remembered in that same trip, this woman whose husband passed away last fall, we were told later that one of the main reasons they brought us in initially was for this woman because they were such pillars in the church. And, and the first Sunday that you spoke, I, they told us that she just bawled the whole time.

Charlie LeBlanc:
10:58

I saw her. She was on the front row to my right. And I saw her bawling and I saw people comforting her. And I was like, Oh God, I hope this is okay. But I knew I was being led by the Holy Spirit. I knew I was speaking things that would bring life, even if it starts with tears, you know?

Jill LeBlanc:
11:15

Right. And she told us, she showed up at our afternoon class and she said, I bought your book on Sunday and I’ve already finished it. And this was Tuesday. And she said, she turned around to the class and said, That thing’s full of gold nuggets.

Charlie LeBlanc:
11:33

Praise the Lord. I remember her saying all that in the little small class.

Jill LeBlanc:
11:39

Yeah.

Charlie LeBlanc:
11:39

But I didn’t put the two things together, that she was the woman crying the Sunday before.

Jill LeBlanc:
11:44

I mean, the rest of the week, she was beaming.

Charlie LeBlanc:
11:47

She was beaming.

Jill LeBlanc:
11:48

Because she she got to she she got to mourn freely openly, and no one tried to fix her. And and, you know, as you taught, it was just affirmation washing over her. And then, you know, things that she read in the book just helped her so much. And there’s really a lot of truth to just being able to be free to mourn and let it out.

Charlie LeBlanc:
12:18

Right.

Jill LeBlanc:
12:19

And just have the support of others.

Charlie LeBlanc:
12:21

Right.

Jill LeBlanc:
12:22

Like what we were saying, people don’t realize how much that, how much it helps just to have their support as they mourn.

Charlie LeBlanc:
12:32

Right.

Jill LeBlanc:
12:33

And no one’s trying to stop them from crying. You don’t have to cry.

Charlie LeBlanc:
12:37

Right.

Jill LeBlanc:
12:37

You know?

Charlie LeBlanc:
12:38

And the acknowledging of someone’s loss is beautiful

Jill LeBlanc:
12:42

Oh, it’s huge.

Charlie LeBlanc:
12:44

Just to be able to go over and hug them and say, Listen, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I really miss so and so who passed, and acknowledging it. And I think that’s the beauty of why we’re seeing so many people helped, it’s amazing, is because, like Bill Johnson said, people are just not prepared for this. They’re not talking about it much in the church. We have so many other things.

Charlie LeBlanc:
13:10

Just talk about who we are in Christ, the righteousness of God, the blood of Jesus, and I’m not making light of any of those things, because without that we’re nothing. But just all the victory, we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us, all the victory teachings on faith and moving mountains. And I think they’re all, we need them all, but we also need a good diet of what to do when things don’t work out the way they’re supposed to.

Jill LeBlanc:
13:37

Yeah.

Charlie LeBlanc:
13:38

And, you know, like we’ve talked about before, our pastor Rick Shelton said, Charlie, there’s faith to move mountains and there’s faith to stand when the mountain doesn’t move. And that has just rung in my heart for ages because the church needs to learn how to stand when the mountain doesn’t move.

Jill LeBlanc:
13:56

It’s so true.

Charlie LeBlanc:
13:57

And I think I said this last time too, but Paul the Apostle, I mean, he was in jail. He was being he had been beaten, stoned, left for dead, shipwrecked, starving, nakedness, he goes on and on and on. And yet, he knew that God loved him, and he didn’t question you know, God and all that. And he just, you know, stayed the course. And so he understood difficulty and how to proceed and be fruitful even in the midst of pain and brokenness.

Charlie LeBlanc:
14:36

And so that’s kinda what we’re trying to do is help people get to that place. We’re trying to help you get through these difficult moments. Everybody’s journey is different. And for us, it took us a while to get to a place where we could be healthy enough to even read scripture.

Jill LeBlanc:
14:58

Yeah.

Charlie LeBlanc:
14:58

I hate to even say that because I know that sounds like, Charlie, you’re kidding me, you didn’t read the Bible. Yeah, no. In fact, Bill Johnson said, he said, you know, when my wife took her last breath, we were together as a family, and he said, we lifted our hands and began to worship God. He said, because God didn’t change, and God was still worthy of praise. Personally, I think that is a beautiful concept. I wish we could have done the same, but we couldn’t. We were upset, we were mad, we were disappointed, we were broken.

Jill LeBlanc:
15:37

We were expecting him to come back alive.

Charlie LeBlanc:
15:41

Yeah.

Jill LeBlanc:
15:42

And when he didn’t, we were flabbergasted.

Charlie LeBlanc:
15:45

Right.

Jill LeBlanc:
15:45

So I guess it just,

Charlie LeBlanc:
15:47

Yeah, I don’t I mean, don’t know what they

Jill LeBlanc:
15:49

Yeah, and they did their whole faith journey with her. I don’t know.

Charlie LeBlanc:
15:58

And he even said, he said, Not everybody’s gonna do this, and no condemnation if you don’t. You know, there’s not any condemnation in that. Everyone has their own journey. They have to figure it out on their own.

Jill LeBlanc:
16:12

True.

Charlie LeBlanc:
16:12

And, you know, for us, it was just a little bit here and a little bit there, just to get our hearts mended and you said you were looking through some of those emails. I was looking through my journals this morning of like, and I think one of the other podcasts I mentioned, was looking to it, I decided to look at it again this morning, because I’ve got journals from the day he passed all the way through that year, and the next year. And all the good days, bad moments, good things, bad things, I’m talking about grieving things, things that were hurting me. And it’s just amazing to see how God brings us through these painful ordeals. No matter what you’re experiencing as far as like, if you didn’t lift your hands and worship God, we didn’t.

Charlie LeBlanc:
17:00

I’m just being honest, we didn’t. And you know, for me, you know, the scriptures that I had put inside of me, thankfully in advance, slowly began to bubble up. And the first one that I share a lot is the fact that, well, I’m looking for it here, but it says, well, Jesus turned to his disciples and said, are you gonna leave me also? Because he had just given a sermon on drinking his blood and eating his flesh and everyone freaked out of the lap, you know, which I don’t them for that either. But his disciples-

Jill LeBlanc:
17:40

He was so radical.

Jill LeBlanc:
17:41

And I’ll read it here, Luke 6:66, After this many of the disciples turned back and no longer walked with him. 67, So Jesus said to the 12, Do you wanna go as well? Do you wanna go away as well? And Simon Peter answered, Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed and have come to know that You are the Holy One of God.

Charlie LeBlanc:
18:08

And I just remember, as I was, ugh, just wanting to run, wanting to, as I’ve mentioned in the book, run under a bridge in Downtown St. Louis and just drink myself to death and just join the homeless community. I was just so I couldn’t face life. I couldn’t face the pain was so hard. I didn’t want to face life.

Charlie LeBlanc:
18:30

I didn’t want to go on with life anymore. I’ve often said this, that I was suicidal to a degree, but I knew I couldn’t bear to do that to you and the girls. After knowing the pain of loss, how selfish it would be for me to get myself out of the pain by suicide and leave my family with more pain, double pain. So, you know, but that scripture that was inside of me popped up simply, Where else can I go, Lord? You have the words of eternal life.

Charlie LeBlanc:
19:05

So I just took that upon my heart and said, Okay, I can’t run from you God, even if I tried, according to Psalm 139, no matter where I go, there He is. He’ll never leave us or forsake us. He’ll follow us even to the depths of our darkest places in life. Thank God He follows us and never leaves us even when we get to our darkest places. But yeah, where else can I go?

Jill LeBlanc:
19:34

Even when we’re faithless, he remains faithful.

Charlie LeBlanc:
19:39

That’s right.

Jill LeBlanc:
19:39

He never leaves us.

Charlie LeBlanc:
19:40

That is a root scripture for us.

Jill LeBlanc:
19:42

Oh man, so much.

Charlie LeBlanc:
19:44

Yeah, because we were without question faithless at times. Our faith was broken, brothers and sisters. I know you may say, Charlie, how could that be? But when you, hope deferred makes the heart sick, the Bible says. And we just laid it all on the line.

Charlie LeBlanc:
20:05

And like I say, everybody’s journey is different. Some of you knew your loved one was passing and maybe you accepted it. And maybe you said, Well, I know he’s gonna be with Jesus, I’m gonna just make his last days comfortable. And that’s fine, that’s the journey that God led you on, that’s beautiful. For us, we fought in faith that he would not die, that that cancer was dead in the name of Jesus. And then when we saw that he wasn’t, when he died, and we prayed for His resurrection.

Charlie LeBlanc:
20:38

And we don’t talk about that a lot because some people think that we’re kooky to do that, but if it’s in the Bible, I mean, the Bible, Jesus raised people from the dead all the time. The apostles raised people from the dead. So, it’s normal in the scriptures to preach the gospel to every creature, baptizing them, heal the sick, raise the dead, cast out demons. That’s what the Bible tells us to do. So, we were determined to see a miracle one And hundred so, when it didn’t happen, that is a real, real broken place, the brokenness of your faith. And that’s why I love what you just said, when we are faithless, He remains faithful.

Jill LeBlanc:
21:28

Yes.

Charlie LeBlanc:
21:29

Because we were faithless. And I want to encourage you, if you’re in that place where you’re just saying, Charlie, I can’t walk with God anymore because this didn’t work out for me. Well, listen, first of all, He loves you, and He will not leave you or forsake you. And I don’t know if that’s comforting or not, but the bottom line is He’s gonna keep chasing after you to win your heart back. I know for Jill, she was very upset, very mad, and the Lord had to slowly bring you back.

Jill LeBlanc:
22:03

Yeah. I mean, it took a few weeks, which isn’t a lot of time, really, but, you know, I used to live in real close fellowship with the Lord. But I was just that bewildered and that broken on the inside that and I felt so betrayed that I couldn’t I couldn’t talk to him. I couldn’t even I couldn’t even ask why. Couldn’t I just didn’t talk to him at all. And and stayed that way for several weeks. And I would have to stop myself because I was just so automatic before, you know, and I would stop myself from just praying just, you know, a little something or

Charlie LeBlanc:
22:53

Right.

Jill LeBlanc:
22:54

Until he began he knew though so this is a few weeks later, he knew that that I was ready to begin to see his fingerprints on different things in my life, a little inkling of his presence. And so, you know, looking back, know, excuse me, I know that he was carrying me through those times, but I didn’t know he was there.

Charlie LeBlanc:
23:22

Yeah, I didn’t know at that time.

Jill LeBlanc:
23:24

Yeah, I didn’t even care. And and so but he was carrying me because he loves me that much.

Charlie LeBlanc:
23:35

Yeah.

Jill LeBlanc:
23:36

And he loves you that much.

Charlie LeBlanc:
23:37

Yes.

Jill LeBlanc:
23:38

And he is carrying you when you maybe don’t even realize he’s there.

Charlie LeBlanc:
23:44

Right.

Jill LeBlanc:
23:45

And if you do realize he’s there, just rest in his arms. Let him just hold you and comfort you by the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the comforter.

Charlie LeBlanc:
23:59

Mhmm.

Jill LeBlanc:
24:00

And where would we be without the Holy Spirit?

Charlie LeBlanc:
24:04

Yes.

Jill LeBlanc:
24:04

So we just encourage you today to receive God’s love for you, receive his grace working on your behalf, his comfort, his he is so in love with you, and his compassion towards you cannot even be measured.

Charlie LeBlanc:
24:24

Absolutely. And you know, one of the things that Bill Johnson said to go along with your comfort thing, he said, mourning with hope will lead you to comfort, to the comforter. Mourning without hope will lead you into unbelief and to negativism and know so forth.

Jill LeBlanc:
24:49

Yeah, had no hope.

Charlie LeBlanc:
24:51

Yeah, yeah. So, but, eventually hope began to come alive in our hearts, slowly but surely. And you know, the word of God inside of our lives that we had already, it is what, like I said, popped up to me. Where else can I go? I’m like, I don’t want to go.

Charlie LeBlanc:
25:17

But I couldn’t go anywhere else. And you know, I was reading in the journal this morning too, my journal, and remember I read it out loud to you, I said, here it was about a year and a half, a year later or a year and a half later that I said, in my journal I said, Okay, I’m gonna start reading the Epistles now for the first time. Or did I say the New Testament? I think the Epistles.

Jill LeBlanc:
25:40

The Gospels.

Charlie LeBlanc:
25:41

The Gospels, yeah. Sorry, yeah, Gospels, because I started in Matthew. The reason I put that in my journal is because I could not read the Gospels with Jesus healing so many people, one right after another, because my brain just, I just couldn’t accept that after I had prayed for nine months for my son and not seen him healed. So I determined, even at the funeral, I said, I’m not gonna let my experience dictate my doctrine. In other words, we pray for someone, he dies, and we say, Oh, it was God’s will, or God needed another one in heaven, or whatever it is.

Charlie LeBlanc:
26:30

No, you have to go to the Word, and you have to know the word of God, that he desires for all men to be saved and come to the knowledge of Christ, that he went about doing good and healing all that were oppressed of the devil, and that he’s the same yesterday, today, and forever. So what I established as my doctrine was that Jesus is a healer, and that he does heal the sick, and that he has accomplished it on Calvary, but my experience was totally different. So that’s why my life was rocked. That’s one of the reasons why our life was rocked. Our faith was rocked, and just the fact that we lost our son just rocked us to no end.

Charlie LeBlanc:
27:13

But there are little scriptures that started coming alive to me, and we can talk about that on the next episode as well. I think we’ll continue with this thought, because there are little scriptures that started popping up for me that helped me, and I thought I’d like to share that with you guys. So we sure love you, but we do have, we’d like to

Jill LeBlanc:
27:35

We wanna just encourage you once again to pick up our book or order it on audio or or Kindle book, ebook. It’s available in all those, formats, but this this will help you. Or if you know someone else that has lost a very dear loved one and is struggling, this will help them.

Charlie LeBlanc:
27:59

Yes.

Jill LeBlanc:
28:00

Oh my gosh. We have seen so many stories now of people that have been so helped by this. And others say they couldn’t read it right away because every you know, they just had to get to a place where they were just a little further down the road before. But if someone you know has been struggling for a while, this we know this will help them.

Charlie LeBlanc:
28:25

Yes. It will.

Jill LeBlanc:
28:26

And, someone asked us if is this a good book for, people that are not Christians? And, you know, there’s a lot of scripture in here.

Charlie LeBlanc:
28:36

Mhmm.

Jill LeBlanc:
28:37

But, you know, the word of God gives life, and what they need is life.

Charlie LeBlanc:
28:41

Bring them to Christ.

Jill LeBlanc:
28:42

You know? That’s right. They it may open their eyes to see God’s love for them. So when loss comes close to home, there’s a link down below, or you can go to our website, charlieandjill.com, get it there, or you can go to Amazon or any of the leading booksellers and find it there as well.

Charlie LeBlanc:
29:02

Yes. So thank you so much for joining us. Give us a like or a comment. We’d love and appreciate that. Forward it to a friend, this podcast. We love you. We appreciate you. And we pray continually for you to be strengthened in your heart and comforted by the Holy Spirit. God bless.