Episode 30
Why Showing Up Matters

Jill LeBlanc:
00:05

Welcome back to the Finding Hope Podcast. We’re so glad you’ve joined us here today. We’ve got some things to share with you to hopefully help you find hope in what you’re going through and maybe never asked for.

Charlie LeBlanc:
00:20

That’s right you know, that’s our whole heart is to help you get through difficult times and, you know as the Lord has helped us get through a traumatic loss in our life And you know, it’s made our hearts much more sensitive and, and caring and compassionate for others who are going through losses. There’s nothing like it, there’s nothing like the pain of a loss of a really close loved one people. You understand if you’ve had a loss, but lots of people don’t understand that they can’t comprehend it. So, yeah, so that’s our hope is to bring blessing and help to you today.

Jill LeBlanc:
01:02

Yeah. Even this morning you got a phone call from a friend who has a very dear friend who was just placed in hospice and even that is painful. I mean, we believe God for healing to the very end and they had been as well, but things took a quick turn. Not to say that that’s going to be the end. I mean, a miracle would be so welcomed.

Jill LeBlanc:
01:25

But you know this person was really hurting and, um…

Charlie LeBlanc:
01:29

Yeah, the associate pastor actually and he was actually also calling to thank us for our book and for all that we are ministering because he said, it has really helped him as he’s gone through this painful situation. You know, and I ministered to him and loved on him, he’s a good friend of ours. But it’s like, even pastors have to go through this kind of pain because they’re amongst the flock all the time. Evangelists can preach and minister healing and see people healed and then leave and go to another city. But the pastor sit there with unfortunately, even some of the ones that were healed, but then the disease came back on them and they have to sit there and work with them, pray for them, believe God with them, try to help them.

Charlie LeBlanc:
02:25

But at the same time, many of them pass and pastors are always trying to learn more of how they can be a help and comfort to those who have lost a loved one. I know that we did a podcast several years ago about our book and a pastor was interviewing us and he told me in the midst of that interview, he said, Charlie, he said, I’m a better pastor now since I’ve read your book. And I’m not here trying to boast about our book and boast about us, but I’m just saying, there’s such a lack of teaching in the body of Christ on the pain of loss and how to minister to those who are grieving and hurting. I think I said this last week on the podcast or at some point on the podcast, I know they all run together sometimes. But I said that, you know, we really know how to rejoice but we don’t know how to weep with those who weep.

Charlie LeBlanc:
03:19

And I made the comment Jill and I mentioned this to my friend this morning, I said, in the forty years plus that I’ve been saved for forty, oh well.

Jill LeBlanc:
03:32

Fifty.

Charlie LeBlanc:
03:33

Fifty something, oh God, fifty years.

Jill LeBlanc:
03:35

Fifty years, yes.

Charlie LeBlanc:
03:36

Fifty years that I’ve known Jesus, which thank you Lord. I don’t recall ever hearing a teaching on weep with those who weep. Yeah. I mean, you know, pastors will always say, you know, we need to have compassion for hurting people. We need to have compassion for the poor.

Charlie LeBlanc:
03:54

You know, they may mention widows, but they’ve never really come right out and taught on how we really need to help those who are bereaved. And that’s why I feel like the Lord has mandated us to talk about it more is because it’s just not being addressed enough and I just feel like we need to address it.

Jill LeBlanc:
04:17

It’s so true. And this week I was answering an inquiry that someone came to us on Facebook and sharing about the loss that they had in their family of their, I think, 22 year old son or I can’t remember how old, he had an older sister and a younger brother and she just wanted to know how, what can I tell them? How did your daughters do? How did you move forward? So I just shared a few things with her, but people are at a loss.

Jill LeBlanc:
05:00

Until you go there, until it happens to you, you just don’t realize what it’s going to be like and what kind of knowledge and tools and help you’re going to need.

Charlie LeBlanc:
05:15

Right, in fact you even mentioned to me that someone said recently that they had a loss in their family and they went and found our book that they hadn’t read yet or that they maybe have seen.

Jill LeBlanc:
05:26

He had read it but he went back and reread it.

Charlie LeBlanc:
05:29

Because he needed it. He didn’t need it then and I think you know recently there was a retreat overseas that for missionaries that we sent a whole 44 books to bless them with and help them with. And I was mentioning to you, I haven’t heard any of them come back and say thank you for the book. Although many of them said thank you for your support, you know, for this TOR. But interestingly, like you said, know, it’s like they may not have a need for it right now, but when they do, and I hope they don’t, but we all do, we’ll have parents that will pass.

Jill LeBlanc:
06:04

Like Andrew said, it’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when.

Charlie LeBlanc:
06:08

It’s a matter of when, exactly. And speaking of which, I was at my aunt’s funeral recently and it was just a beautiful time. Of course, was 89 years old, she was a month away from turning 90. And it’s interesting because we’ve talked about this before that we lost Beau in January 2009, but then in April 2009, my dad passed. And we talk about the fact that in the shadows of both passing and the pain and the brokenness and the tears, when my dad passed, I was okay with it.

Jill LeBlanc:
06:45

Yeah.

Charlie LeBlanc:
06:45

Where some of my siblings, it really hurt them. Of And course, I miss my dad. I love him to know him, but he was 87 years old, he was a preacher, he loved God, he was just ministering. And so just in the shadows of losing Beau, it was no comparison to the pain that I had with losing Beau. And so I was with my aunt at my aunt’s funeral with my cousins and my uncle who’s 92 or just turned 91, right?

Jill LeBlanc:
07:16

91

Charlie LeBlanc:
07:17

Just turned 91, I think. And so we were, you know, it’s interesting because I wanted to go because I wanted to honor her and I wanted to send my love and condolences to all my cousins and especially to the family of my aunt. And it was interesting thing though, because as I looked at my cousin, who is the one who did the eulogy at the funeral and I’m gonna read a little bit about some of the things she said, which was beautiful.

Jill LeBlanc:
07:49

Yeah.

Charlie LeBlanc:
07:50

But as I looked at her in my mind, and I’m just being honest and transparent here. In my mind, I thought, well, their mom was 89. She was a wonderful lady. They’ve had a full life with her. It was just time.

Charlie LeBlanc:
08:07

It was time that she’d left. She could have lived a few more years, but nonetheless, she died. And so, you know, she was satisfied with a good life. It’s okay. But when I looked at my cousin, and my aunt’s daughters, who were in deep grief and pain. And I realized and remembered that it’s not about their age. And it’s not about your relationship as far as whether mom, dad, brother, sister, child, best friend, uncle, aunt. It’s not about that. It’s how close were you to that person? That’s that’s the key.

Charlie LeBlanc:
08:51

And and my aunt was so wonderful and so loving.

Jill LeBlanc:
08:56

She really was amazing.

Charlie LeBlanc:
08:56

And all of her children loved her. And she was very involved in all of her children’s life and in all of her grandchildren’s lives. She was the the rock-

Jill LeBlanc:
09:08

She was.

Charlie LeBlanc:
09:08

of the family. And my dear cousin, is grieving deeply. And and and my other cousins there as well that were real close to her and the grandchildren, they’re grieving deeply because they miss their mom. Now they know that their mom’s in heaven. She was a very godly woman and in even with her husband in ministry together, but they are missing her so bad.

Charlie LeBlanc:
09:36

And of course my uncle, my 91 year old uncle is he’s missing his wife.

Jill LeBlanc:
09:40

He’s a bit lost.

Charlie LeBlanc:
09:41

So so so bad.

Jill LeBlanc:
09:43

Yeah. It’s so sad. And she went down so quickly.

Charlie LeBlanc:
09:47

Yeah, she did. And that’s part of the terror of it.

Jill LeBlanc:
09:51

Seems like within a few weeks.

Charlie LeBlanc:
09:54

Yeah, they diagnosed her with cancer, just a few weeks before, because they knew something was wrong, but they couldn’t figure it out. They finally figured it out. And then she went down in three weeks. So, so sad. Back to our friend that called us this morning, his good friend, a lady that works at the church in her 50s, been battling cancer for two years.

Charlie LeBlanc:
10:18

And then they thought she whipped it because she was doing the PowerPoint and working behind the sound desk. Involved, involved and then all of a sudden, bam, it hit and she went down quickly and she’s in hospice now, but they’re praying like you say and believing but at the same time, it’s hard.

Jill LeBlanc:
10:37

Yeah.

Charlie LeBlanc:
10:37

It’s very, very hard.

Jill LeBlanc:
10:40

Yeah.

Charlie LeBlanc:
10:40

But let me read to you. My cousin, Ronnie is just, she is just an amazing young lady. And well, she’s probably ten years younger than me, right?

Jill LeBlanc:
10:54

Yeah.

Charlie LeBlanc:
10:54

At the most.

Jill LeBlanc:
10:56

She’s always been your younger cousin.

Charlie LeBlanc:
10:58

Yeah, always has.

Jill LeBlanc:
10:59

She got older too.

Charlie LeBlanc:
11:00

Exactly. But a she’s a dear and she’s very gifted writer and a gifted Bible teacher as well. And she did the whole eulogy for her mom. And this is some of the things she said at the very beginning, which I thought was so beautiful. If you don’t mind, I’m gonna read them.

Charlie LeBlanc:
11:20

She said this, she said, she opened up with a quote, she greeted the people first and so on, you know, then she said, Bill Bennett wrote, how we walk with the broken speaks louder than how we sit with the great. That’s pretty powerful.

Jill LeBlanc:
11:40

Yeah.

Charlie LeBlanc:
11:40

How we walk with the broken speaks louder than how we sit with the great. Man, that’s a powerful, powerful statement. And I think that we all can grow from that. You know, how we treat the brokenhearted, how we treat the hurting, hurting people, how we get involved in their lives, speaks more than if we get to sit with the greats, you know, we recently did a podcast with Joyce Meyer, and we’ve done podcasts with Andrew Womack, and we’ve sat with some great, wonderful people. And John Tesh as well. But and those were wonderful moments and we love them. And, you know, we’re we’re honored.

Charlie LeBlanc:
12:24

But how you walk with broken people people speaks louder than how you sit with great people. And we might as well interject the Joyce Meyer podcast thing now. Maybe it’s a little early, but today is, first of all, your birthday. Everybody sing happy birthday to Jill. Anyway, happy birthday, babe.

Jill LeBlanc:
12:48

Thank you.

Charlie LeBlanc:
12:49

It’s October 28. And you are a very special one. And I love you very, very much.

Jill LeBlanc:
12:56

Thank you.

Charlie LeBlanc:
12:57

Yes, I do. But here we go, Ronnie. Well, I was gonna say also the twenty eighth is when Joyce Meyer, we’re gonna be on her program today.

Jill LeBlanc:
13:08

Talk It Out podcast.

Charlie LeBlanc:
13:11

Yeah. So right after you get done listening to this podcast, providing it comes out on the twenty eighth, which I’m pretty sure it’s planning to, we always do these a little bit in advance. And so go ahead and switch over to the Talk It Out podcast, Joyce Meyer, Talk It Out podcast.

Jill LeBlanc:
13:31

And there’ll be a link below, can just access that.

Charlie LeBlanc:
13:33

And then you can go to that podcast and watch it too, because Joyce was so sweet. She was so kind to us, she really promoted our book, and it was just a blessing. She is just such a blessing.

Jill LeBlanc:
13:49

She’s amazing.

Charlie LeBlanc:
13:51

We get back to my cousin Ronnie and read to you some of the things she said, which I think is so beautiful. She said, she said the quote, and then she said this, she goes, not only is God walking with us through this journey, but he has sent people to help us. And we talk about that in the book so much, know, Jesus was skin on. Yes, Jesus is a helper. Yes, God is the God of all comfort.

Charlie LeBlanc:
14:17

Yes, he loves us. Yes, he’s with us always, even into the ends of the earth. Yes, He’s with us in time of pain and times of trouble. But Paul said what in Philippians he said, but you did good in that you took care of my needs. He says, can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, he said, but you did well by standing there.

Jill LeBlanc:
14:40

Right, and by sending Titus to him to support him. Oh my gosh, that was incredible.

Charlie LeBlanc:
14:48

Yes, and you know, I was reading scripture this morning and ran across a couple of more of those kinds of scriptures where Paul’s in Colossians 7:8 says, Tychicus, I don’t know if I’m saying that right. A beloved brother, faithful minister and fellow servant in the Lord, will tell you all the news about me. I’m sending him to you for this very purpose that he may know your circumstances and comfort your hearts. But he was sending Tickacus to go and comfort them and then a little bit further down, he said, and also Jesus who is called justice. They are my only fellow workers here in the kingdom of God.

Charlie LeBlanc:
15:27

He said they have proved to be a comfort to me. Paul said, take it because I’m sorry, justice was a comfort to him. So, you know, we’re important and that’s why I went to my cousin’s funeral. You know, it wasn’t easy to break away because it was I mean, she died on like a Wednesday, I think it was, our Tuesday and bam, you know, the funeral was on Saturday.

Jill LeBlanc:
15:56

Yeah.

Charlie LeBlanc:
15:56

We grabbed a quick flight Friday morning, I ran out there real quick. And and it was a beautiful time. I mean, I’m so glad I went, you know, and I again, I’ve said this so many times. I was praying before I left. I said, God, you know, give me words.

Charlie LeBlanc:
16:13

I don’t know what I’m doing. I think I’m doing the right thing by going. I mean, it’s only right thing. How can you go wrong to be honest? Going to a funeral to just to conference one, even if you’re not seen.

Charlie LeBlanc:
16:25

And to be honest with you, when I first got there, they were all rushing to get ready. And I said, hi, they gave me a hug, said hi. And all of a sudden I thought, well, I guess that’s it. And I sat for two hours as they went through the receiving line of all their great friends and all the family and all the things that I just sat there kind of praying for them and looking at all the beautiful slide presentations and finally getting to see a few of my cousins, distant cousins that came. But I was kept thinking, Lord, you know, is there a specific purpose for me to be here?

Charlie LeBlanc:
17:05

You know, show me and so after the funeral was over, and I got so blessed by my cousin Ronnie’s words, which I’m going to talk about even so a little bit more. But I was I saw uncle I didn’t even tell you this. I saw Uncle Harold, he was sitting behind me I was with Rob and Coy and some of the others. And he was getting greeted by a lot of people as he trying to eat. And at one point he was alone. I turned around and sat in the chair across from him. And we chatted for the next hour. And he just wanted to talk with me. He wanted to be with me. He wanted to talk.

Charlie LeBlanc:
17:43

I mean, we spent the whole rest of the few, the rest of the time, probably an hour and a half, an hour talking and then walking around together, taking pictures, doing things together. He just wanted to be with me. I walked him out to the car and he said, bye, at least 10 times. And then wanted to talk some more, you know. And then as he’s leaving

Jill LeBlanc:
18:04

He’s great.

Charlie LeBlanc:
18:05

This is my 91 year old uncle who just lost his wife of, I don’t remember, fifty something years. She says this in the eulogy. But here he is. And as I’m saying the final buy, because his his his son was saying, we got to go, dad, come on. And so as they face the final bye, he goes Charlie, he says, call me later. Call me later. Will you call me later? It’s so sweet. I thought what a dear, you know, I just love him so much. But I did, I called him later and we talked and talked and talked.

Charlie LeBlanc:
18:38

And then when I called him a couple of days later, he goes, Charlie, I just wanted to apologize to you for not getting to see you right before you left. And I said, well, it wasn’t your fault, I had to run to the hotel. Anyway, he’s just, those who have had losses, they really, really love to talk to people, they love to share their heart. And we need to be those people that bring comfort to others.

Jill LeBlanc:
19:04

Yes, we sure do.

Charlie LeBlanc:
19:06

Yeah. So let me go ahead and read. I said, you know, that he sent people to help us and then just one more last couple of sentences. She said this, the gifts of food, the shoulders to cry on, the prayers, the phone calls, the messages have combined to form pillars of strength on which we lean. That’s not one act of your kindness and love has gone unnoticed. And, you know, Jill, you’ve been really good at that, you know, like someone has a loss and you’ll say, let’s send them something, send them some food or something like that. You know?

Jill LeBlanc:
19:50

We usually don’t go towards flowers

Charlie LeBlanc:
19:52

Right.

Jill LeBlanc:
19:53

So much. We’ll usually go towards something more tangible that’s useful. You know, a lot of people receive a lot of flowers and plants because, you know, others the ones on the outside, they just don’t know what to do many times.

Charlie LeBlanc:
20:08

And it’s a sweet gesture. I mean, this was a traditional New Orleans, Louisiana Catholic kinda orientated area and I mean, the plants and the flowers platform were out of control.

Jill LeBlanc:
20:20

Yeah. And that’s, you know, it adds a lot of beauty, but, you know, when it’s all over, it kind of it’s a lot to take care of, a lot to have to put away, you know. So just just pray about if if you come across a situation and just make sure that, you know, you’re wanting to send a a gesture, meaningful gesture, but just pray about it for a moment and make sure, should I send a flower or a plant? And sometimes it is appropriate, just depends. Or should I send some food or have something delivered or whatever, you know?

Jill LeBlanc:
21:04

Just a little tip.

Charlie LeBlanc:
21:06

Yeah, that’s really good. Yeah, and you know, I think on the next podcast, I think I want to talk to those who have had losses and minister to them some things that I’ve been having in my heart about about how the Lord is near to us in our pain because you know, we so easily, I know this one has been focused a lot more on, you know, to comfort people and it’s people, you know, training on how to be a better blessing and how to be a better comforter. But I think on the next broadcast, I’ve got a few things that I want to share just about how to help you if you’ve had loss. And of course, I know all this helps you because it’s kind of like when someone talks about this, I always go, yes, yes, yes. Because that helps me because I’m saying they’re saying what I can’t say.

Charlie LeBlanc:
21:57

And so we hope that this has blessed you and helped you in some ways. And we have something really exciting coming.

Jill LeBlanc:
22:04

Yeah, we do. Well, next week, on November 6, it’s a Thursday evening, we have our first ever Finding Hope for the Holidays live event.

Charlie LeBlanc:
22:17

Yes.

Jill LeBlanc:
22:18

And there’s a link below that you can click on. We would love for you to join us.

Jill LeBlanc:
22:23

We’re just gonna share some things. You know, the the holidays are coming up. For me personally, that’s one of the toughest times of the year because, you know, there’s just so many factors that play into it, you know, with all the joyful music and most wonderful time of the year and all that. You know, was a really serious season in our lives right before our son passed.

Jill LeBlanc:
22:51

He passed the middle of January. And so he was very ill during that season of Christmas before he passed. And so it brings a lot of tenderness to us every year and it’s been over sixteen years. And so there’s things we just want to encourage you, especially if you’ve had a loss in the last few years or a loss, maybe it’s been a while, but it’s still really impacting We just want to sit down in a live situation, talk about it and share some tips. We’re putting together a free gift for you, which you’ll be able to download if you register.

Jill LeBlanc:
23:40

So please, go to that link below, finding hope for the holidays and register. We hope to also have time for some Q and A. So bring your questions and we just look forward to it being a really powerful event. It’s not going to go real long, so don’t be afraid of having to keep you up late that night but we really want to help because the holidays can really suck for people.

Charlie LeBlanc:
24:10

They can be tough, very very tough and I know that you’ve the people that we’ve ministered to that have had losses that we’ve been able to get personally involved with, that you’re always, giving them warning about anniversaries and holidays and different seasons that they need to be prepared for. You know, you don’t want to sit in your house alone as a widow on Christmas or on Thanksgiving or any anniversary of your loved one. So that’s a week and a half away actually. It’s a Thursday.

Charlie LeBlanc:
24:43

It’s not this Thursday, but next Thursday. So I’m looking forward to that. I pray that you guys can get the word out for us, tell other people about it as well.

Jill LeBlanc:
24:52

And if you don’t get to listen to this on the day it comes out, the date is November 6. It’s Thursday evening, November 6. So be sure and register. We hope you join us.

Charlie LeBlanc:
25:03

Yes.

Jill LeBlanc:
25:03

We just wanna be a a help to you.

Charlie LeBlanc:
25:05

Right. And don’t forget to, when we’re done with this podcast, which we’re about ready to be finished, to go and look for Joyce Meyer’s podcast called Talk It Out.

Jill LeBlanc:
25:16

Yep.

Charlie LeBlanc:
25:16

Just go on your little podcast thing and look for Joyce Meyer, Talk It Out. And there you’ll see us being interviewed again with Joyce.

Charlie LeBlanc:
25:25

And we’re just thrilled that she invited us to do this.

Jill LeBlanc:
25:28

It was a real privilege.

Charlie LeBlanc:
25:30

Just a real honor and privilege. And as many of you know, our book, she actually did a forward in our book, and she was just I wept when I read the forward when she sent it to me, that it was so endearing. And she’s a very compassionate woman and she understands pain because of the abuse she had as a child and having to come out of that, it was just dreadful. And so many people have had dreadful situations that they’re having to go through and, and our hearts go out to you, if you’re going through that really difficult time as well.

Jill LeBlanc:
26:07

Yes. We wanna encourage you to get ahold of our book. It’s on audio, it’s on Kindle download or ebook. And then we have the physical copy, which we can get to you in just a short time. If you’re in The US or UK, we have free shipping on all that.

Charlie LeBlanc:
26:25

Right.

Jill LeBlanc:
26:25

Yeah.

Charlie LeBlanc:
26:26

And don’t forget the thumbs up.

Jill LeBlanc:
26:28

Oh, yeah. Like our, like this.

Charlie LeBlanc:
26:30

Like it.

Jill LeBlanc:
26:30

And share it. We just wanna reach more people and you can really help us. Leave us a review and leave us a review on our book somewhere. It’s really helpful, whether it’s our website, whether it’s Amazon.

Charlie LeBlanc:
26:44

Yeah, leave a comment on podcast, on the podcast as well.

Jill LeBlanc:
26:47

That too.

Charlie LeBlanc:
26:48

Yeah, if you have any questions, leave them in the comments section and we’ll try to address them as we move forward.

Jill LeBlanc:
26:54

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

Charlie LeBlanc:
26:56

So God bless you, we sure love you, we’re praying for you if you’re going through a dark time in your life. We always pray for all of our friends and all of our podcast listeners, partners. And so God bless you and thank you for joining us. And we’ll see you again next Tuesday. God bless.