We are SO happy and excited to announce the beginning of something brand new! The Finding Hope Podcast with Charlie and Jill LeBlanc, Getting Through What You Never Asked For. Our weekly podcast will launch the second week of April 2025!
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We will kick off the podcast with an interview hosted by our friend, the legendary John Tesh, discussing our story and our book, When Loss Comes Close to Home, Finding Hope to carry on when death turns your world upside down. Here is a peek into the content coming your way in episode 1:
Our discussion that day was very raw and candid, starting with the night before our son left us. We discussed, among other things, how friends and family reacted to us early on, how others reacted to our daughters in losing their brother, and as time went on, the importance of letting the family know you still remember and miss their special person, like others did for us.
You won’t want to miss these special inaugural episodes of the Finding Hope Podcast! They are very refreshing and enlightening.
We often hear this from people walking beside someone who is grieving: “I wish there was a guide out there for what to say and what not to say! It’s always so uncomfortable and I’m afraid I’ll say something wrong!”
We can help! Below is an excerpt from Chapter 14 of our book, (Episode 2 & 3 in the Podcast), talking about some of the things TO DO and NOT TO DO with grieving loved ones.
Rules of Engagement for Comforting the Grieving
1. Love Them
The Bible says, “Weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice.” People often want to make everything feel okay, but sometimes, grieving individuals just need time. Love means showing up, being patient, and offering support—like bringing food or helping with everyday tasks.
Be the friend who never pressures the bereaved to “get on with life.” Simply love them and allow them to heal at their own pace. That kind of patience is life-changing.
2. Don’t Judge
Some people feel that grief has a time limit and may judge others for grieving “too long.” Grief doesn’t have a timeline, and there is no prescribed moment when the bereaved should have “moved on.” The loss of a loved one changes you forever—never fully returning to who you were before. Avoid judging someone’s healing process. Instead, focus on being present for them.
3. Allow the Griever to Talk When They’re Ready
Be sensitive and let the grieving person lead the conversation. If they bring up their loss, spend the time truly listening. Don’t force the topic, but also don’t avoid it. People who are grieving don’t need to hear, “I know exactly how you feel.” Just being present and listening means more than anything you could say or any advice you could give.
4. Don’t Be Offended
Grieving people may not respond to texts, calls, or messages. It’s not about you, they’re just overwhelmed. If you reach out, do it selflessly and open-ended. You can say, “No need to reply—I just want you to know I’m thinking of you,” removing any pressure to respond.
5. Give Them Space in Their Healing Journey
Everyone grieves at their own pace. After Beau’s funeral, we took a month away in San Diego to rest and process. The time was invaluable. Grief isn’t something that can be rushed through. Giving people the space to heal is one of the best gifts you can offer.
6. Remember with Them
The loss of a loved one is more than the physical absence. Their presence is no longer felt in conversations, especially when people are hesitant to talk about them. It means the world to us when people share memories of Beau. It keeps his spirit alive. Even all these years later, hearing from an old friend who remembers Beau’s kindness, brings us comfort. If you know someone who is grieving, don’t be afraid to share a memory—it helps more than you know.
7. Don’t Try to Fix Them
Many well-meaning people try to “fix” grieving individuals with quick reassurances like, “Your son is in heaven, praise the Lord.” But that doesn’t help. It often feels dismissive and can trivialize their pain. After Beau passed, our pain was so great that comforting someone else who was grieving seemed impossible. One day the Lord said, “You do the loving, and I’ll do the fixing.” That truth changed our perspective from what WE can do, to what HE can do. Our job is to love—God is the one who heals the broken hearts.
When Loss Comes Close to Home isn’t just a book about losing a child—it’s a guide for navigating all kinds of grief. Loss takes many forms—whether it’s the death of a loved one, a broken marriage, or even your sense of purpose. The principles in this book apply to anyone walking through loss. Grief isn’t something to be fixed or ignored. It’s something to be walked through—with love, patience, and understanding.
Helping Heal Broken Hearts,
Charlie and Jill
